i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
