He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
