wakey wakey hands off snakey
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
