My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
