"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
