THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
