Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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