Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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