My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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