He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
