Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
