I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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