I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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