FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
