I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
