i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
