clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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