Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
