I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
