we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
