Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
