i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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