nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My pussy is not your playground.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
