Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
tell your sister to shave her snatch
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
