She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Hippo gnu deer
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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