I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
