I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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