when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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