why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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