Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
