It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I have aggressive nipples.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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