im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
