so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
