She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
