babies were throwing up all over the place
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
