It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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