is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
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