Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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