Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
