Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
