So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
