I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
