Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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