mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
