Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
