I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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