Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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