last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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