It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
