just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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