Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
