It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
