Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
