Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
